drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
