Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
