they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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