remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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