now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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