This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm bleeding and have questions
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
