so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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