I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
