My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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