Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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