Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
