the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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