I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
