I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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