i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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