we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
