Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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