Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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