Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
