Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
