We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Damn victory sex feels great
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
