their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
zippers are such a cool invention
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
