butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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