I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
