If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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