JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
