I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
