I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
