Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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