I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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