is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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