Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
