Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Randomize
