You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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