The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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