the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
