White coat. Heels.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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