The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
