Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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