opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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