i don't like sucking hair
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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