Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
