sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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