i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
