i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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