return my video game
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
