I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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