Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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