Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He shit in the fireplace
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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