Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
