We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
