So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
