Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
