Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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